its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
