Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
