I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
