Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
