Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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