i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
