you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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