Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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