Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
