my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
