i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
