We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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