Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
