About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
should my penis look like a turkey
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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