roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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