We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
