Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
