I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
