I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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