i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
