I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
