me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
