just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
