we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
