he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
