watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
