I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
