I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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