I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
