I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
