I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its about making memories worth repressing
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
