I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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