So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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