Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
