My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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