The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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