Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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