there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
