she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
