I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
