well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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