I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
