Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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