Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They have beer where we have blood.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
