I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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