we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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