Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
