if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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