her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
