dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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