Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
