Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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