need another drink. this is the easiest way
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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