you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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